So I looked up the lyrics to the song "Stuck in the Middle with you" in hopes that I can somehow relate those words to the post I am about to write. No such luck. The song title, however, seems to also be a good title for my new post.
Luke and I have been doing a lot of talking. Nothing too serious, people. Just trying to figure out life. [p.s. this is not going to be a post about "finding ourselves" - that statement always bothers me. why do people feel the need to "find themselves", can't we all just be who we are?] This post will in fact be about embarking on a journey to try and figure out our future - and the frustrations in that journey that present themselves along the way.
We recently took a trip to Chicago [close to Luke's hometown, where he grew up & later worked after college]. The trip was amazing. Chicago was amazing. This is the town that Luke holds very high; his favorite city in the world. Of course when he returns here, he instantly falls in love with the city all over again. Then we're faced with the question(s) that I'm sure many people close to our age are faced with... Do I want to move here [because I've always wanted to]? Do I want to stay living in my current situation [because a lot of times we all want change]? Then we ask ourselves the next set of question(s)... Am I making the right decision? How do I know what the right decision is? And Holy Cow - What are the answers to these questions?
We are stuck in the middle. In a way we are at the crossroads of two very pivotal times in our lives. That period between letting go of your independence, letting go of your carefree twenties and transitioning to adulthood [don't get me wrong, we are adults you know]. I'm talking about the other stage, the stage that is full-blown adulthood! Buying a house, settling down, planting roots, raising a family, etc., you get the point. Luke and I are currently in the middle of it all. And to be honest, I wish I could stay in this spot forever - being 28. My late twenties have been amazing thus far. Every year I gain more confidence and maturity and develop a better understanding of my surroundings. Why can't this phase last forever? I love having the freedom to do what I want, when I want [well outside of the M-F 9-5]. Why do we have to "grow up" and make decisions that will affect the rest of our lives?
Some would argue that we have all the options in the world, we don't have anything holding us back, we can do whatever we want. Sometimes that presents too many choices to choose from, therefore making me second-guess my decisions and making sure my final choice is the right one. [I wish we could just live in Seattle.Portland.Chicago all at the same time] :D
I guess what I am trying to say is that we do have the option to do whatever we want, but we are aware of the transitions that are going to face us in the next 5 years or so. And when you age, you really have to start thinking about your future. 5 years ago I wasn't thinking about it at all, but as adults it's one of our responsibilities.
So back to the question. What should we do?
For right now everything is great. Everything is just as it is, or as it should be. We're happy. We think we'll be happy anywhere as long as we are together and surrounded by family and friends. We still do have these thoughts and questions from time to time... When we have the urge to go somewhere else we'll just purchase some plane tickets and visit often. Then when when we return home we'll say "Oh it feels good to be home".
[really, it took this whole blog post to get to that conclusion? but now you know my entire thought process, lucky you! ;)]