At the beginning of this year I lost my job. The job that I moved to Portland for. While I am looking at this time as an opportunity to find something better, something that is a better fit for me, it's been rather difficult around here. I'm not used to not working. I had worked so hard to get where I was in my career & now I'm left without work. It's been difficult for me to face the reality of it all. I have always been a very hard worker & have had a strong sense of pride in what I had accomplished so far in my career, that this period of unemployment feels so foreign to me & it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like what I'm supposed to be doing. When we go out, I feel embarrassed when I tell people that I'm now unemployed. I don't know why, because it wasn't my fault I was laid off. It wasn't anything that I did. Most of the time people act weird & don't know what to say... That's when I just laugh & say something to the effect of "Oh, it's okay, I'll find something that's a better fit", or "Oh, it's not as tragic as it sounds, it's actually a blessing in disguise".
Over the past few weeks I had a few interviews with one of my #1 company in town & I recently found out that the job was offered to someone else. It was a tough blow to my confidence because I truly felt that I preformed my best during the interviews & left my interviews feeling very confident. This just means that I need to do better. I need to step up my game. It's been difficult admitting defeat, but in no way am I going to stop trying!
In no way am I looking for your sympathy, I just really needed a moment to vent, to let it all out on the table - & move on from it. If you read this whole post please know that I'm not a negative person (I swear!). I'm trying to keep my positivity & good spirits intact. I do know that a great opportunity will come along for me, let's just all cross our fingers that this happens sooner, rather than later.
While I actually have a few things in the works for the time being, it's nothing that I can solely rely on. I'm trying to use this free time to network as much as I can, to apply for as many jobs as I can (& that are obviously a good fit)... Let me tell you people, it's exhausting! But now is the most important time to be working for it as hard as I can! I know that everything will work out, eventually. I gotta keep reminding myself of this... :)